Dear Elaine

 Today in work a customer wanted me to put aside a dress for her, she asked me to hold it under the name of Elaine.  You instantly came into my mind. It dawned on me that I have not thought of or mentioned you in quite awhile, immediately a strong sense of guilt came over me.  I worried that you must assume you are forgotten, perhaps as if you were never here. With that in mind I decided to write you this letter in the hope that somehow you will hear my words and know that you are definately not forgotten!

  I often wonder how different things would have been if you had gotten to stay with us. What would you make of me? When Sharon and I were literally tearing each other's hair out would you have intervened? If so who's side would you have taken? I used to imagine that you and I would have had this unspoken bond, and that you'd have always stuck up for me anytime Shaz and I went to battle.  I never took into consideration the fact that Shaz and you would have had five years together by the time I came along. Therefore your loyalty was bound to lie with her. Perhaps I would have thought twice about going up against my two older sisters! I'm sure Sharon's body would have had alot less scratches on it if you were there to referee!

  How would Daddy Cooney have coped living in a house with four women?  Somehow I think he would have done just fine!  Dad has always doted on his lil ladies, and from what I've heard you had him wrapped around your little finger from day one! I'm told the admiration was more than mutual. Apparently you used to jump up in your cot the second you heard Dad come to your door in the morning. You also sat by the front door of our lil blue and white Nenagh house, anticipating his return from work in the evening.  I remember Mum telling me that she could barely get a look in-you were daddy's little sweetheart and that was that!! The fact that to this day he finds it difficult to speak about you is testimate to the impact you had on him.  Mum and Dad weren't even in their twenties when they lost you. I try to imagine what that must have been like for them, but it's too painful.  I think back to when I was nineteen and I know with full certainty that such an experience would have destroyed me.  However they had no choice but to be strong, Sharon still needed them, therefore falling apart was not an option.  It only dawned on me that it must have been just as hard for you.  It certainly wasn't your choice to leave such a loving set of parents and therefore your bravery astounds me just as much as theirs does.

  I wish I had gotten to meet you, but yet somehow I feel like I have.  Anytime something good happens in my life, I secretly believe you were behind it.  I see all the good that is in our brother Matthew and I have no question that you have something to do with it.  I hope wherever you are you are happy and that you look down on us-your crazy fellow Cooney's from time to time and have a little chuckle. The one thing I ask is that you never doubt your place in our family, you are my big big sister Elaine and nothing can take that away from us!

Yours Faithfully
Fiona